Keping-kepingan

i have a beautiful tan, but a scar on my left arm. the result of bumping into the hotel closet drawers because danial fell on me. gah.
i totally love my skin colour as it is now. sangat toffee caramel!

******

mungkinkah kalau perasan benci itu walaupun sudah bertahun lenyap akan wujud kembali?
bukan benci saja, tapi perasaan cemburu yang amat. tapi hanya kerana diingatkan kembali tentang memori lampau.
ah! aku paling tak suka kalau perasaan dikawal oleh perkara remeh begini.
bodoh kali ku rasakan. biarkan aja. masa aku akan tiba juga.

******

things might brighten up for me soon.
i've opportunities knocking at my door that i never would've thought of.
i've dreamt of it, maybe. tapi cuma angan-angan belaka. tak sangka pula hampir akan jadi kenyataan.
maka aku ingin katakan disini, tak salah andai bercita-cita, atau memimpikan impian kita.
who knows, it might come true...or you might stumble upon a chance to fufill that dream.
enak kali rasanya. nikmat dalam jiwa ini yang aku rasakan nggak bisa aku ngucapin dengan kata-kata.

******

i think at this point of my life, i'm slipping in and out of euphoria and a little bit of sadness. there's just too much on my mind. of this and that, and what nots. things that i shouldn't actually be worrying about, plus things that i ought to worry about. it's pretty stressful.

rollercoaster

i love the theme park rides, but not the metaphorical equivalent of violent jerks and sudden movements from ups to downs, that most would swear can cause a cardiac arrest 3 times over.
i just hate being in a position where i'm unsure of things. in a position where i'm at liberty of another's actions, where i'm vulnerable and fragile. and at this point, i think i am being put in that position. although unintentionally, it still does the damage.
can't i have a certain answer, yes. no. what?? but wait, this has been addressed in one of my previous posts. so you see, it's a problem that reoccurs. and one that i've yet to come up with a solution to.
funnily enough, it's a problem i go through quite often actually. *sigh
maybe it's just me. it must be me.

******

apa chances gwe untuk ke Australs dan Worlds tahun ini?
nyerah aja pada Tuhan deh. biar Dia yang tentukan.
usaha gwe kalau dihitung nggak pernah akan cukup.
jadi gwe menyerah aja.

>Pash.