Friday, March 24, 2006

Nocturnal Nail Biter.

my days start at mid-day, earliest. i retire when the rest of the country is just about to stir their morning coffees. so my sleeping pattern's been completely off lately. breakfast is at 4pm. lunch at 8pm, dinner is anytime when i feel hungry. meals aren't exactly proper either. half a packet of Digestives with Cadbury's hot chocolate, or iced lychee tea with roti bakar, or something un-filling such as those.

"this is Mc Bom Bom Bwoi....yada-yada-yada...." Too Phat, Run.

i've taken to biting my nails again. ugh. now i've ugly fingers as well as nails. short stubby fingers with short stubby bitten nails. eww. i swear it's the stress. will it take another month for me to recover the lost nails that i've bitten in vain...*sigh
i hate biting my nails really. but sometimes it's something i do unconciously. like the next thing i know, i've really ugly nails. then i don't even try to hide them. but why should i. but i should.

i should have a 7-eleven at my beck and call. so i'd just grab a can of Vanilla Coke when i want one. or even a tub of Ben & Jerry's. or Chips Ahoy!.
i'm such a prat. i'm a total prat.

deeply misses pash's vampire-cub-puppy pet. it's caramel brown, unbelievably charming for a vampire, and has talent for stringing words together. have you seen him?


Tuesday, March 21, 2006

Old Girl. New Dark Lane.

what it feels like to be reminded of old times makes you wish your brain could have a "Ctrl-Alt-Del" function.
how you're able to remember something you've pushed aside for so long, with just a tiny bit of memory, and then it reacts like hypertext links. taking you from one time to another, one picture to another, one thing to another. it's true that the best computers made were the earliest. The Human Brain.

you can't ever forget. perhaps you'll not remember as much. but a piece of it's still there. and that piece fits the puzzle to reveal the whole picture.


i see myself, standing alone. with both hands by my side, idly fiddling the hem of my shirt. in the middle of a very empty lane. the road's wet. streetlight's flickering, almost dead but not quite. the occasional glances over my shoulder. i'm still alone.


kalau kau tak sekuat itu
kau tak akan berdiri
teguh sehingga hari ini
kau kira hari-hari
setiap saat yang kau lepasi
itu lah daya yang kau ada
pada hati
pada jiwa
walau sesekali
mungkin kau teringat kembali
mungkin kau kesali
memori itu tak akan lari
tapi kau berada di sini
pada waktu ini
dan pada waktu yang akan datang lagi
waktu ini yang patut kau capai
demi hari ini
demi hari-hari nanti.


call the paramedics. tell them to bring me crates of mars bars and vanilla scented oxygen.
i've a sudden craving for everything chocolate and brown.
smooth flowing stuff to make me feel good.
includes ice cream, butterscotch topped and chocolate sprinkles.
oh and a certain some one who best comes close to all of the above.
make my day....better yet. make my days.
*cuddles pillow wishing it was my favourite non-bloodsucking vampire

could it be possible to be mildly addicted to infatuation-inducing elements?
mildly? pfft~
the amount's colossal!
the whole jitter-flutter-melted butter-wiggle-jiggle.
popping corns and flying fish fries frying.

now i'm just sounding like i've totally lost it.
but i haven't. it's still there. screwed tight. well...not so tight.
i'm letting it loose day by day.

like i've predicted, 2006 is, as of now, going awesome.


Sunday, March 12, 2006

Spins a Verse

it's been a month or so since i last posted anything up here? really.
super duper busy bee me. school's really taxing. socials even more so.

so there must be a lot to write and talk about since a month's a long time and might constitute a whole season of a soap opera. roight.
but it's me, my life we're talking about here. i doubt it'll make three episodes let alone a whole friggin season aye.

of late we've been thinking about a whole lot of stuff. (why do i feel as if i'm not getting my point across as well as i would like to...)

see, the thing is, i've lost touch with writing since i've stopped for a long while. and now that i've decided to plonk myself down in front of Tommy and tap on his keys, i find it a bit awkward.

but then sometimes we'd like to know why we even make the effort. why we'd spend so much, and give up so much for something that's not entirely guaranteed to be ours. and why is it just an innate part of being human that we find ourselves competing against one and the other for the same thing. it could be anything: fortune, recognition, affection.

so yes. my pointless ramblings brings us to nowhere, obviously. if i had a point to make i'd have made it already. but that's just it. next week might see Pash The Sexy work it out on a futsal pitch. lol. actually, i'm looking forward to watching the boys play. but if Pash plays, and it means getting noticed by the boys...why not? *grins*

Pash is pretty messed up as always. has something to say but can never get down to saying it. only because Pash's brains lack the dexterity it once possessed. now i've to rediscover that lost magnificence.

The Sexy shall return. not less sexy. never less sexy.