Eff Yew.

tomorrow i register myself at university.
sunday will be nothing.
monday i start day one of my PR degree program.
tuesday will be the dawn of a new day.
wednesday will be day two of my PR degree program.
thursday will be day three.
friday will be when i perform at Layar Tanchap.
it's saturday again. wow.

final words for the year that is 2007.
eventful.
several close to suicidal attempts. (lol!)
a lot of attention grabbing, mic wielding moments.
i learnt how to speak Malay. more than what i know at least.
a whole lot of heartbreaks.
a whole lot more of drunken escapades.
great job experiences.
i found out who friends really are. and who they aren't.
realized how hazardous my (spending) habits are.
also realized how much money i'd need to keep it up.
not yet figured how stupid i can be when it comes to boys.
like, seriously. stupid. "she's like the olymp-bitch champion!"
i've been bestowed the title "violent and abusive alcoholic", thanks to Masai.
memorable. some good times.
although the sisterhood's been a bit of a mess this year.
we need penang again, khairun.
or langkawi.
and we need plenty more of mawar.
chocolate-opoly nights. my place next time. and donuts.
and mocktails roulette! skip the alco for you girls. ;)
thanks for that night at rasta mawar. and fuz. he's not bad after all. heh.
i'm still trying to figure that one out. the boy. is. a. puzzle boggle scrabble. mind games.
i hate them testosterone creatures. we should all be gay. haha.
i see you roll your eyes at this one mawar.

shidots. you've been here for me.
even though you're there. in bloody london.
i still hate you for that.
but the lipglosses you bring home are candy!
red waja. that's classic.
i don't even remember how we got back to your place.
puking all over the outside of santha's car.
see, mabuk also still got control. haha!
and thanks for the brilliant birthday present idea.
i never put in so much effort for a boy's gift before.
come to think of it, i can't even remember what i got memin for his birthday.
or if i even got one for him. lol.
i still got the purse he got me though. still using it.
maybe i should like, go out with him kan?
make him buy me stuff like he used to.
we shopped at Esprit okay. god, that boy.
shit. snap out of it.
oh whatevs. you've been my one true best girlfriend.
from one boy to another. we go all the way back to 2001 babes.
and we'll make 2008 another year crossed in the books.
with hammy. my candy supplier. doctor in the making.
my baby girls will have one cool ass doctor aunty hammy!
ponteng school, get mc from aunty hammy.
and get free hotel rooms to crash after parties from aunty shidots.
but sorry ah, they'll learn to party from me first.
be the living legendary mommy. lol!
hams, kau hutang aku satu botol absinthe.
pour it in a juice bottle and say it's passionfruit.
i dont bloody hell care. i'll see you in January.
a lot of alcohol awaits us.

to another person i've been trying to scrape away since April.
i hate you. for doing what you did.
i hate you. because no matter how much you say you won't call or bother me.
you're still there.

like soap scum on bathroom walls. mud and grit.

tough stains on carpets. stubborn like wine spills on silk.

fuck you, for me ever meeting you was a mistake.

all the way back to that night in February 2006.

last words for 2007?

2008 better be good.

good things come when you're prepared.

so be prepared.

Pow.

when you want it straight up they mess up and give you excuses.
when you want it kinder they shout and shove it in your faces.
when you want something from them they stupid and oblivious.
when you want nothing at all they think you got expectations.
what happened to being direct and transparent
it'd make things hell easier if you'd seen it comin'
what about thoughts in your mind you thought you could say
but when you wanna say it you find yourself not all that articulate

what the fuck.

Back to School

it's been about 4 years since i went back. today i walked up the same stairs to the same office i used to be called up to when i got in trouble. but this time, i was getting my SPM certificate which i so conveniently didn't care to pick up all those years back. and the office has changed. somewhat. i preferred it before the renovations. i met my form one class teacher. that was cool. not much has changed really. except for a new building they now call 'block c'. it used to be the softball field, and where we had 'lompat tinggi' practice. i remember doing gymnastic flips over the bar instead of the back flip high jump. my house teacher thought i'd break my neck. friends thought it was cool! haha. but that was when i actually went to house practice. a bit later in my high school years, i skived and went out with my then boyfriend. those were the days. *sigh

Twenty

Happy birthday to me.

and celebrate World AIDS Day, wear a red ribbon. =)

xoxo