Shush.

i'm not in the mood for writing. somehow, things just aren't going too well. with this and that and everything else whizzing through my mind...where's Calm when you need it? where's Company when you want someone to talk to? where's Clarity when you're confused? where's Courage when you need to say someting? nevermind. don't mind me. nobody ever does. just be quiet and walk out the door like you never saw or heard me.

if there was one thing i want now, it's not a thing. it's more of a presence. a feeling. that little tick that makes your heart beat just a little bit faster. again, nevermind.

14 months an elaborate affair. too much too handle? you would think i'd had enough already. well, i have. i've had enough of something i didn't need. much less want. but then didn't i want it? maybe i did, just a little. so now i changed my mind, will you punish me for that? what punishment do i deserve for wanting a little bit more, but refusing after waiting too long? life's too short, and the world a bigger place. so let me live and release me from the confines of these four walls and glass windows.

just shut up and let go. i'm sick and tired of bouncing back and forth. just shut up.