i suppose i should be rid off all emotions save for ones which translate to being happy? with a permanent smile plastered on my face like Ronald McDonald? or like the wax statue of Elizabeth Taylor?
i'm fucked up and i can't go around pretending i don't feel a thing. most of the time i do already. not good enough eh? i'll try harder.
Monday, March 16, 2009
Monday, February 02, 2009
Gummibonbon
okay first of all, i love gummy bears. specifically the ones by Trolli. please, anyone who finds this can/jar/packet/tub of gummy bears buy them for me please. please. please.
moving on, today's rambles are random thoughts.
Things that I find very pelik and i wonder... (not in any order)
1. how come orang suka pakai Crocs.
2. how come orang suka pakai Crocs tapi it's not the original ones, they buy them from Giant or Tesco.
3. how come some girls don't have an ass? like, they have no butt. it's just pelvic bone and the coccyx sticking out of their jeans.
4. why do some girls buy hideous shoes and wear them with even more hideous outfits?
5. why do guys like to spike their hair up in the middle and make it look like they have the Alps growing out of it?
6. why do malays like to sit on the sidewalks sambil mencangkung and either a) smoke or b) talk on the phone?
7. what is the obsession with FAKE ralph lauren or hackett polo tees with huge ass numbers on them? (this one, malays like also...very weird.)
... why does my laptop battery have to run out at this very moment. haiyoh.
moving on, today's rambles are random thoughts.
Things that I find very pelik and i wonder... (not in any order)
1. how come orang suka pakai Crocs.
2. how come orang suka pakai Crocs tapi it's not the original ones, they buy them from Giant or Tesco.
3. how come some girls don't have an ass? like, they have no butt. it's just pelvic bone and the coccyx sticking out of their jeans.
4. why do some girls buy hideous shoes and wear them with even more hideous outfits?
5. why do guys like to spike their hair up in the middle and make it look like they have the Alps growing out of it?
6. why do malays like to sit on the sidewalks sambil mencangkung and either a) smoke or b) talk on the phone?
7. what is the obsession with FAKE ralph lauren or hackett polo tees with huge ass numbers on them? (this one, malays like also...very weird.)
... why does my laptop battery have to run out at this very moment. haiyoh.
Saturday, January 17, 2009
Lebih-lebih Pula
Tiba-tiba dah lama tak meng-blog, banyak pula benda nak cakap kan. This time it's just rambles. And I shall just ramble on, whether or not you know what i'm talking about...well, go figure.
Love has truly been good to me
Not even one sad day
Or minute have I had since you've come my way
I hope you know I'd gladly go
Anywhere you'd take me
It's so amazing to be loved
I'd follow you to the moon in the sky above
Got to tell you how you thrill me
I'm happy as I can be
You have come and it's changed my whole world
Bye-bye sadness, hello mellow
What a wonderful day
It's so amazing to be loved
I'd follow you to the moon in the sky above
Beyonce, Stevie Wonder - So Amazing
Uhm. Yeah. So. Right. Actually, i kinda lost my train of thought. how cool is that. now i have nothing to write about really. what's weird is that when i have a lot of things to say i'm not anywhere near a computer or internet access. most of the time, this will be in the car while i'm driving or in the passenger seat. or when i'm walking around, or watching cars and people past by.
I'm too tired now. Will write soon.
Love has truly been good to me
Not even one sad day
Or minute have I had since you've come my way
I hope you know I'd gladly go
Anywhere you'd take me
It's so amazing to be loved
I'd follow you to the moon in the sky above
Got to tell you how you thrill me
I'm happy as I can be
You have come and it's changed my whole world
Bye-bye sadness, hello mellow
What a wonderful day
It's so amazing to be loved
I'd follow you to the moon in the sky above
Beyonce, Stevie Wonder - So Amazing
Uhm. Yeah. So. Right. Actually, i kinda lost my train of thought. how cool is that. now i have nothing to write about really. what's weird is that when i have a lot of things to say i'm not anywhere near a computer or internet access. most of the time, this will be in the car while i'm driving or in the passenger seat. or when i'm walking around, or watching cars and people past by.
I'm too tired now. Will write soon.
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
90210
so i haven't been writing in God-ages. i don't know, maybe too many things have been happening all in a blow that i can't quite catch up with writing it all down like i used to. besides, i used to only write when i'm depressed or mad or angry or blew my head off or something but it does not mean in any way that since i'm writing now, i'm not happy or anything like that. in fact, i'm happy alright.
right now, life's so much and alot about being with the boyfriend. i'm not about to get all cheesy-soppy "oh-the-love-of-my-life" telling you about how he's the most perfect thing that ever happened to me, because let's face it, sometime in the past, there's been other guys i dated who i used to think were everything i wanted. that didn't go anywhere did it? come on, everyone will say that at that particular moment of time. looking back, you change your mind when you find something else you think you like better. but hey my feelings and thoughts are best kept within the confines and privacy of this relationship. nothing about it is for you to know.
oh well, but sometimes i do wanna tell. except, i wish i could be anonymous right now. even with my total readership of 3, or occasionally 5, i still feel like i'm opening up to a LOT of people. i like to keep things to myself, remember. right.
so...conclusion. not telling. haha. thanks for reading. now get out.
right now, life's so much and alot about being with the boyfriend. i'm not about to get all cheesy-soppy "oh-the-love-of-my-life" telling you about how he's the most perfect thing that ever happened to me, because let's face it, sometime in the past, there's been other guys i dated who i used to think were everything i wanted. that didn't go anywhere did it? come on, everyone will say that at that particular moment of time. looking back, you change your mind when you find something else you think you like better. but hey my feelings and thoughts are best kept within the confines and privacy of this relationship. nothing about it is for you to know.
oh well, but sometimes i do wanna tell. except, i wish i could be anonymous right now. even with my total readership of 3, or occasionally 5, i still feel like i'm opening up to a LOT of people. i like to keep things to myself, remember. right.
so...conclusion. not telling. haha. thanks for reading. now get out.
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Makna
puisi lama aku jumpa, entah bila aku tulis pun tak ingat. mungkin beberapa bulan lepas.
buat kesenangan peribadi
kau pentingkan diri sendiri
luahan hati aku pena
buat semua agar bisa merasa
namun kau curi isi
kau curi hati
tak pernah keseorangan
walaupun bersendiri
tetap ada yang menemani
apabila jiwa tersentuh
maka hati ini merasa
jadikanlah kata-kata
seperti satu bahtera
ombak dan angin membawa
ditiup ke serata ruang
mengisi segala makna.
buat kesenangan peribadi
kau pentingkan diri sendiri
luahan hati aku pena
buat semua agar bisa merasa
namun kau curi isi
kau curi hati
tak pernah keseorangan
walaupun bersendiri
tetap ada yang menemani
apabila jiwa tersentuh
maka hati ini merasa
jadikanlah kata-kata
seperti satu bahtera
ombak dan angin membawa
ditiup ke serata ruang
mengisi segala makna.
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
251008
yang ini aku tulis di Wall of Confessions, Hari Bintang Jatuh Wani Ardy di MIA Bungalow Jalan Ampang. Untuk siapa? Kau fikir sendiri lah. Malas nak cerita.
setiap kelip matamu
setiap kali jari terjalin
setiap kata kau ucapkan
tidak pernah jemu
tidak pernah ada yang lain
tidak pernah aku sangkakan
genggam tangan ku
ambil langkah setapak
dengar degup jantungku
hembus nafas tidak teragak
kau beralih
aku tidak
kau menjeling
aku melihat
kau cemburu
aku cium dahi mu
kehadapan bintang jatuh ku
kau jatuh ke riba ku
25 October 2008
setiap kelip matamu
setiap kali jari terjalin
setiap kata kau ucapkan
tidak pernah jemu
tidak pernah ada yang lain
tidak pernah aku sangkakan
genggam tangan ku
ambil langkah setapak
dengar degup jantungku
hembus nafas tidak teragak
kau beralih
aku tidak
kau menjeling
aku melihat
kau cemburu
aku cium dahi mu
kehadapan bintang jatuh ku
kau jatuh ke riba ku
25 October 2008
Friday, October 24, 2008
Untuk Kau
sudah berapa lama aku tak menulis. tiada apa yang hendak ditulis. barangkali fikiran terlalu bercelaru hinggakan tidak dapat menyusun kata untuk dijadikan ayat.
aku selalu terfikir, adakah apa yang aku genggam ini benar-benar apa yang aku mahukan. kalau terlepas yang dalam genggaman ini, bolehkah aku dapatkan gantinya? atau mungkin tersungkur kerana berlari ingin mendapatkan ia semula? aku tak mahu terasa sesal lagi. cukuplah berkali-kali perit pedih terpaksa aku hadapi kerana yang berada dalam genggaman jatuh dicelah-celah jari seperti pasir. semakin kuat digenggam, semakin laju ia terus ke tanah; akhirnya tiada lagi dalam tangan. yang tinggal hanya debu.
aku bertanyakan pada diri, sambil kepalanya aku usap. jarinya aku jalinkan bersama jariku. dahinya aku cium, wajahnya aku renung. yang inikah yang aku mahu? yang inikah yang aku sayang? yang inikah yang akan aku bawa dalam diri, zahirku dan dalam hati, jiwaku. aku tak mahu mencari lagi. yang ini cukup bagus buatku. yang ini yang terbaik buatku. walau apa pun yang ini lah yang akan aku perjuangkan. aku mahu jadi yang satu. seperti cinta terhebat satu waktu dahulu. tapi yang itu bohong, walaupun aku masih teringat tapi aku benci. pergilah kau, jangan dekati lagi. biarkan aku dengan yang ini. yang di sini, yang aku mahu sayang dengan sepenuh hati. yang akan mengembalikan rasa sayang itu tanpa ada rasa keliru atau tidak pasti.
percayalah kata-kataku, kalau aku bilang aku mahu berada bersamamu. mungkin kau rasa aku masih tidak dapat memberi sepenuh hati. aku minta kau tolonglah genggam erat lagi tanganku setiap kali kau terasa begitu. rangkul aku dan jangan lepaskan. aku masih mencuba, aku mahu mencuba.
aku renung lagi yang ini. mungkin ada lagi yang tersimpan belum aku luahkan. satu hari demi satu hari. perjalanan ini masih panjang buat aku dan yang ini. aku mahukan yang ini. tiada lagi yang aku fikirkan melainkan yang ini.
cinta terhebat, mungkin berlaku lagi. tapi kali ini lebih bererti.
aku selalu terfikir, adakah apa yang aku genggam ini benar-benar apa yang aku mahukan. kalau terlepas yang dalam genggaman ini, bolehkah aku dapatkan gantinya? atau mungkin tersungkur kerana berlari ingin mendapatkan ia semula? aku tak mahu terasa sesal lagi. cukuplah berkali-kali perit pedih terpaksa aku hadapi kerana yang berada dalam genggaman jatuh dicelah-celah jari seperti pasir. semakin kuat digenggam, semakin laju ia terus ke tanah; akhirnya tiada lagi dalam tangan. yang tinggal hanya debu.
aku bertanyakan pada diri, sambil kepalanya aku usap. jarinya aku jalinkan bersama jariku. dahinya aku cium, wajahnya aku renung. yang inikah yang aku mahu? yang inikah yang aku sayang? yang inikah yang akan aku bawa dalam diri, zahirku dan dalam hati, jiwaku. aku tak mahu mencari lagi. yang ini cukup bagus buatku. yang ini yang terbaik buatku. walau apa pun yang ini lah yang akan aku perjuangkan. aku mahu jadi yang satu. seperti cinta terhebat satu waktu dahulu. tapi yang itu bohong, walaupun aku masih teringat tapi aku benci. pergilah kau, jangan dekati lagi. biarkan aku dengan yang ini. yang di sini, yang aku mahu sayang dengan sepenuh hati. yang akan mengembalikan rasa sayang itu tanpa ada rasa keliru atau tidak pasti.
percayalah kata-kataku, kalau aku bilang aku mahu berada bersamamu. mungkin kau rasa aku masih tidak dapat memberi sepenuh hati. aku minta kau tolonglah genggam erat lagi tanganku setiap kali kau terasa begitu. rangkul aku dan jangan lepaskan. aku masih mencuba, aku mahu mencuba.
aku renung lagi yang ini. mungkin ada lagi yang tersimpan belum aku luahkan. satu hari demi satu hari. perjalanan ini masih panjang buat aku dan yang ini. aku mahukan yang ini. tiada lagi yang aku fikirkan melainkan yang ini.
cinta terhebat, mungkin berlaku lagi. tapi kali ini lebih bererti.
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